Blueface Confirms Relationship with Hazel E, Dubbing Her His Only "Golden Retriever

Blueface and Hazel E have apparently decided today is the day they soft-launch, hard-launch, and thirst-trap their way into a relationship, because after getting caught looking extra cozy at dinner, Blueface is now telling TMZ they’re officially dating. Yes, officially. As in, he said the words out loud. Into a camera.

And Hazel? Oh, she’s doubling down by calling herself the rapper’s only “Golden Retriever,” which is a choice, while basically calling every other woman in his orbit a Shih Tzu or a Maltipoo. The dog taxonomy is insane, but stay with us.

Let’s get into the mess.

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🍽️ The Dinner Date Heard ’Round the Internet

The timeline has been loud ever since Blueface got out of jail earlier this month, and honestly, he wasted zero time stepping back into the spotlight. But instead of beef, baby mamas, or bad decisions, he’s rolling out…Hazel E.

On Wednesday night, Hazel blessed Instagram with a video of their dinner date — and by “blessed,” we mean she whipped out her camera, zoomed in on her man, and the two proceeded to swap spit between entrée bites like they were filming a softcore commercial.

Hazel then dropped the line that launched a thousand side-eyes:

She’s Blueface’s “only Golden Retriever,” and the other women?
“Shih Tzus and Maltipoos.”

Girl. GIRL.
We need to have a conversation about metaphors.

But wait, she didn’t stop there. She posted a bouquet of roses tagged “Thx u baby 💋,” just in case you missed the PDA rollout the first time.

The couple said “subtle” and then did the opposite.

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🎤 Uh Oh…Blueface Confirms It

TMZ caught them leaving the restaurant, and Blueface proved he’s fully leaning into this storyline. When asked if they’re dating, he straight-up said yes.

No hesitation.
No “we’re just vibing.”
No “it’s complicated.”

Just yes; he kind of confidence he rarely gives his own jump shot.

Hazel then jumped in with origin-story lore, sharing that Blueface first DM’d her in 2019… while she was prepping for her wedding.
That’s right: the DM hit the inbox while sis was lacing up the bridal heels.

They reconnected in 2023 during her divorce, and Hazel swears the “timing is right.”
We’re not sure if this feels like fate or foreshadowing, but the plot is plotting.

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📱 The Internet Reacts, and Honestly… It’s Comedy

Shade Room commenters never disappoint, and the reactions to this reveal are pure gold.

Here are the vibes:

• “she just happy to be there” – the “assignment understood” energy.
• “This was so unnecessary 😂” – because why must they always involve us??
• “EEEEEYUCK!!” – someone had to say it.
• “so chrisean gon stop now? What’s tea” – the questions we all had.
• “Calling yourself a golden retriever is goooooofy gooferson behavior” – LMAO, accurate.
• “Girl he calling you a dog please” – someone pass Hazel a translator.
• “This is just messyyy 😭” – understatement of the year.
• “I just scroll and mind my damn business these days” – the self-care we all need.
• “She just happy someone finally picked her” – ma’am…

The comments section turned into a comedy club with no drink minimum.

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👀 So What Is This? Love? Clout? A Midseason Plot Twist?

Let’s be honest: every Blueface relationship reveal comes with:

• at least one eyebrow raise
• a little confusion
• an air of impending catastrophe

And Hazel E? She’s treating this like a soft-launch, rebrand, and revenge arc rolled into one.

Between the dog metaphors, the roses, the lip-locking, and the “timing is right” backstory, this entire situation is giving:

“It’s messy, but I’m committed to the chaos.”

Which, to be fair, might be the true love language in Blueface Cinematic Universe.